Who's That Noodle Pumpkin Pie

Lipstick and Nachos

2012-01-05T19:55:00.001-06:00

Mommy.... Can I borrow some lipstick and pretend I'm a girl?

"Ok! What do girls look like?"

See above image.

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All Aboard!

2011-12-30T22:44:00.001-06:00

Tonight, Jacob decided to take us on a trip. He dressed in an old train conductor costume, complete with pocket watch, tickets and hat! He let us know we were going to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!

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Moves Like Models

2011-12-29T21:32:00.001-06:00

While watching a commercial, a slender model in a blue bikini walking across the screen. He peeks in the bathroom and says "do you think you wanna look like her mommy!". I reply, "do you THINK I should look like her?". "um.... Yes?". "Well, what could I change to look like her?". Jacob replies, "you could change your body?". "ok. How would I do that?". Jacob, "you could switch your body for another body?". I say, "well, what if I can't do that?". Jacob, "I guess you'll just have to stay the way you are...". Sucks that I went through weight loss and severe pain, two boob jobs and a tummy tuck and I STILL can't compete. Ah... Fuck em.

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Size Matters

2011-12-17T08:37:00.001-06:00

We have measured Jacob today. His height has increased over 2 inches in the last Month. Today I decided to look up the "average" height of a seven year old. I was surprised to find that Jacob is as tall as an average 10 year old boy. He weighs in at 64 pounds and towers at 51 inches today. His birthday is in two more months. I'm certain he will grow again. Wow.

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Bonus Features

2011-12-04T20:49:00.001-06:00

"Mommy? When we're done with this, can we watch the bonus features? I like the bonus features."

Upon finishing the newer version of Alice in Wonderland movie, Jacob asks me a simple, yet poignant question. This question struck me. We don't give enough credit to those around us for making our life easier, for battling our daily battles, listening to us, mentoring us and being instruments in our growth. We don't take time to understand the people "behind the scenes" that make our lives fabulous.

I give you permission to watch and appreciate your "behind the scenes".

A few women I want to appreciate:

Dee Savoy (My Mom)
Diana Coward (Brookes Mom)
Erin Toberman (Nathan's Mom)
Lynn Schafer (Eli & Josh Mom)
Jill Vidal (Grace & Jack Mom)
Kat Creech (Madison & Jack Mom)
Michelle Barry (Ethan's Mom)
Joanna Harris (Riley & Ellie Mom)
Jennifer Jordan Rogers (Troy & Summer's Mom)
Laura Bernardi Piovesana (soon to be mom)
Summer Hutches (soon to be mom)

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Traditions

2011-11-30T23:49:00.001-06:00

Today, I wee through Jacobs school folder and find his Thanksgiving work / Art. I find a music score where he has notes and words, a feather giving thanks for his family / dogs / mom & dad, a school exercise writing a formal note to Brooke and the new holiday calendar.

We are so blessed to have a sweet natured boy that still cries, loves his mommy and can be independent too! The note to Brooke went like this:

Dear Brooke,
I hope I can come to your house tomorrow morning to play captain america.

Your Friend, Jacob

That little boy is just as excited about the upcoming Christmas holiday. Ever grateful, he marked his books of LEGOS up with "I want this one, and this one, and this one, and this one too!". Ugh!

This brings me to a conversation I'm having with other people and myself. What defines us? What defines me? Is there one shining moment we all hope we get and recognize? What if we miss it? What if someone takes it away? Is it over? Do we stay in limbo wondering what its all about? Or, do we get another chance?

My opinion? We make our way, they way doesn't make us. We have a choice, no matter what others choose for us or themselves. Even in the most horrible of circumstances, there is still choice.

Are we defined by our children? Our choices? Or have we always had permission to revel in tiny life moments and successes? Are we defined by our neighbors shortcomings, or our own? Unthinkable, the answer is this. We define happiness, the moments we chose to call our own and glorious opportunities that are taken, unabashedly without regrets. That's what I think.

What makes you a champion? Do you forgive yourself for imperfection or wallow in the short falls of it? Do you recall, remember, what made you great in your own mind? Is it wonderful? It should be.

Can you forget what others might think? Can you find the core reasons why purple makes you happy? Find joy in simplicity: Piano music, show-tunes, antiques, the rich flavor of a seasoned family that you created, knowing it will never go away, only get better with time?

Do you even know that you were once a stage mom, a soccer coach, a swim mom, a truck driver, a famous designer, a feisty wife, a broker of friendships, a world traveler, a glorious companion, a details watcher, a champion shopper, a lousy skier, an epic wine drinker, a tree planter, gardener, animal shelter, hole filler, forgiveness seeker and tradition preservationist? Did you know that it wasn't over yet? Do you understand that the best parts are happening now and you're missing it?

Columbus didn't think too long and hard on why he should sail for the new world, he just sailed. I give you permission to sail.

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Setting the Table

2011-11-20T21:05:00.001-06:00

Jacob got a pre-thanksgiving lesson in the importance of "setting the table". Little did I know, it was going to be a glorious hit!

Now, we don't have fancy linens or expensive china. What we do have are lessons and memories of how you should conduct yourself at the dinner table. Most adults could follow suit.

Lastly, he didn't want me to photograph this until the table was "set". The next night? "mommy, let's set the table again!". I love that kiddo.

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Famous Last Words

2011-11-18T21:50:00.001-06:00

Jacob ran around the house today saying, "we'll be right back with a butt crack"

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Annie, are ya okay? Are ya okay Annie?

2011-11-18T20:16:00.001-06:00

Recently, we acquitted a "dumpster dog" named Annie. She's a "smooth criminal" when it comes to chewing and has fit into our aggressive family quite nicely. We have grown to love and cherish her. Well, we kinda had that part covered from the beginning. She is having a great time with us.

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Jacob-o-Lantern

2011-10-23T19:45:00.001-05:00

Jacob lost another tooth last night! Just in time for Halloween. He's a cute little awkward boy! I think he still has all the girls hearts. Last week, we received a love note from a fellow mommy. Madison holds a special place in Jacobs heart. He will always do her bidding and love her unconditionally. It's just one of those "Notebook" loves you immediately know. He doesn't know what this means yet, and I dread the day deep love breaks his heart.

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Caped Crusader

2011-10-02T14:51:00.001-05:00

I vowed I would celebrate creativity and allow Jacob to express himself. Today marks the second day as the caped crusader. He has worn this costume, one of many, for two solid days. Birthday party, travel, grocery store, breakfast at ihop.... Never fear, Jacob is here!

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Worn Out

2011-09-29T12:41:00.001-05:00

This year, for "back to school", I decided to shake my habit of always buying new things and supplies. Jacob had uniform shirts from last year and they are still wearable. Pants that still have life in them can be used in lieu of new clothes. And the illustrious backpack! It has a few worn out spots, however it still carries books back and forth to school. Every evening and every morning, we argue about taking LEGOS to school.

Last night, as we diligently prepared said backpack for service the next day, Jacob made a gut wrenching statement. "mommy, I put my LEGO guys in the side pocket so I won'l lose them. If I put them in the main part, they fall through the holes."

UGH! I am trying to repurpose things. This really cramps my roll.

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Handsome Shoes

2011-09-27T22:21:00.001-05:00

J: mommy? Tomorrow I have to wear tennis shoes.
M: why?
J: because tomorrow is a P.E. Day and you aren't supposed to wear beautiful shoes on P.E. Days. You can only wear tennis shoes so they don't slip off.
M: so, I guess we have to leave the handsome shoes at home.

Jacob loves wearing his "handsome" shoes to school. Apparently, these are the shoes you wear that make you look handsome. He wears them riding his bike in case he should run into Brooke on the street.

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Book of Bad Manners

2011-09-27T22:16:00.001-05:00

Apparently, mommy has a lot of these traits. It is especially true when she blames her farts on me...

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Two Minutes

2011-09-22T21:05:00.001-05:00

YouTube Video

Daddy: Its time to go to bed.
Jacob: awe! Can I play with my toys a little more?
Daddy: it's almost nine o'clock.
Jacob: but it's not yet....
Daddy: ok. You can play another two minutes
Jacob: is that a long time?
Daddy: no. It's a really short amount of time.
Jacob: so, it's like one jump in the pool.

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God

2011-09-19T21:06:00.000-05:00

J: Mommy? Why doesn't God die?
M: I don't know.
J: Where is God?
M: He is everywhere, all around us.
J: Why doesn't He die?
M: Because He is in us and in all things.
J: It's not FAIR! I wanna be God!
M: Why isn't it fair?
J: Mommy? Is God a boy or a girl?
M: I guess He's "both".

New Day in Lunches

2011-09-14T23:31:00.001-05:00

I am not quite satisfied with the processed foods I am presenting to my son. Recently, I found some great new lunch boxes that have three compartments and an online community with great new ideas. My hope? We can get away from PB&J for a change. Though the first round isn't perfect, at least it's turkey and cheese this time with fresh fruit and veggies!

More ideas here: http://www.easylunchboxes.com

Fun in Fentress

2011-09-05T13:46:00.001-05:00

I can't get over how much media and reality shows shape my point of view. I kept having visions of "hillbilly hand fishin'" and "river monsters" while relaxing on the San Marcos river this weekend. A 400 pound drunk hillbilly was doing cartwheels and singing epic ballads from the Willie Nelson collection and neighboring campers pushing the limits of the law with domestic disputes. Our campsite was rought with karaoke, shrimp boils, barbecue, laughter and rich with community. As we caught up with old friends, we were reminded that connections will always be strong.

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Leisure Resort: part deux

2011-09-02T18:29:00.001-05:00

We are almost to the campgrounds called Leisure Resort. Last year in June 2010, Jacob broke his arm on the monkey bars. Tonight, we return to the scene of the accident for part two of a fun family weekend.

We hang out with family friends "the Rogers" and tomorrow is Thom's birthday. In celebration, I vote we don't make a return trip to the ER.

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Don't let the pigeon stay up late

2011-09-02T18:22:00.001-05:00

Tonight we read a story called "Don't Let The Pigeon Stay Up Late". The last page is the dream... " mommy, look! He's dreaming of a hot dog party!"

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The "System"

2011-08-31T22:47:00.001-05:00

Dear Governor Perry, you retarded hair spray hog, I'm the one that wrote to you BEFORE I got pregnant about independent health policies NOT covering women that planned the births of their children. I took your hint and changed jobs so I could suck off the system like everyone else. Now, my child is in your vile public school system getting screened AGAIN for the district GT Program. The only reason we are fighting to be apart of your elite (3 child) pogroms is to gain access to the dual language program. I find it hard to believe that our district allocates millions of dollars to an ESL (English Second Language) program and we have to fight you to learn Spanish. My son came to your district from the Harvard of daycares knowing how to read, write and speak Spanish. Your district goal was to learn to count to 100 in English. He knew how to read, write and recite this task in dual languages. Your goal as a district was to know colors. He knew this is both English and Spanish. What say you? Strap your boots on and come see me. Or rebate my $29,000 pre-k education so you could undermine it in less than one year. Como se shitty?

It isn't that I care that my son is labeled GT. I care that he have access to a program that currently only three children are deemed "good for". I care that dual languages are learned in the early elementary years, not as an elective in middle school.

Call me after you get finished with your manicure. Let's chat about your border wars and bullshit Texas school law.

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Swim Under the Big Top

2011-08-20T22:09:00.001-05:00

Jacob was all a flutter with new swim friends at Madison and Austin's birthday bash. This marked the last summer party before school started. We love the friendship that has been nurtured over the past few years with the Creech family. The best part is the fact that event professionals can shine, even at a Childrens party. No detail went unplanned with Mama Kat at the helm. Per usual, her sidekick hubby knocked out some amazing popcorn inspired cupcakes!

Bushi Ban Camp in full effect

2011-07-12T20:02:00.001-05:00

Jacob has started Bushi Ban day camp this week! So far, it's a big hit! LOL! He came home yesterday with his new little costume and modeled his new moves for us!

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Random Evening Quips

2011-05-19T21:29:00.000-05:00

Let me first start by saying that my son is the epitome of eclectic. Here, I will set the environment for you.

Jacob in Star Wars underwear
Prince of Persia movie on the TV
Lego Prince of Persia set up behind couch in proper fighting battle stations
Jacob wields a wooden sword from the Texas Renaisance Festival using a British accent while singing Tik-Tok by Ke$ha with same British accent.

Our evening is always a fun little sampling of quips, sarcastic realities and literal fabulous-ness.

I will close with a wonderful exchange between mother and son:

M: I just want to snuggle and cuddle and kiss and hug you FOREVER!
J: But I wanna go to Field Day tomorrow!

Milestone moments: Bike Rider!

2011-05-06T18:46:00.001-05:00

Jacob has started to exhibit strength and balance while we are on walks and bike rides. Most of the kids in the "hood" are rising their bikes and walking to school each morning. Since his school is only a mile away, we are excited that this summer Jacob will learn to master bike riding. I love that we live in a little neighborhood that allows safe travel to school.

Here is a sneak peek at our new little bike rider!

YouTube Video

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Location:Broad Oaks Ln,Rosharon,United States

My Special Mother, by Jacob S.

2011-05-06T17:17:00.001-05:00

My mother is the most wonderful mom in the whole world!

She is as pretty as a flower.

She weighs 20 pounds and she is 30 inches tall.

Her favorite food is pasta.

When Mom was little she used to play with girly LEGOS.

I think mom looks funny when she makes faces.

I know she's really angry when (she is never at me).

I wish Mom would play soccer with me every day.

I wouldn't trade my mom for a LEGO Darth Vader.

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Location:Broad Oaks Ln,Rosharon,United States

Adventures with Woody

2011-04-27T05:56:00.001-05:00

Houston Travel Log:
Mommy travels a lot. She likes to jet set and see new people, places and things. I can't always go along with her on adventures so she agreed to take a friend with her. She's headed to Nashville, TN today for an overnight business trip. I know she misses daddy and I very much when she's gone. I let het take Woody on her trip this time. I hope they meet lots of interesting people.

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Location:Airport Blvd,Houston,United States

Another day, another milestone

2011-03-28T18:57:00.001-05:00

The first visit from the tooth fairy was a grand success, complete with an official tooth fairy poem reading, nighttime historical tooth fairy story, golden tooth pouch and certificate from the tooth fairy herself!

Today marks the second tooth lost in a series of dental experiences I am certain we are destined for. Jacob was very excited about getting a whole dollar for his first tooth. I'm not sure that the value of lost teeth depreciates after the first one. Either way, we know for certain that it isn't enough to afford the LEGO Death Star, valued at $400. We informed him that he didn't have enough teeth to earn that!

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Milestone Moments

2011-03-26T20:21:00.001-05:00

Jacob has been so excited about the prospect of losing his first tooth. Well, today was the day! I assisted in the extraction with another tooth looking to follow shortly. I guess tonight the tooth fairy will come.

Note to self: find tooth fairy folklore and read to him tonight! I hope it isn't like the Valentines Day stories...

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Location:Broad Oaks Ln,Rosharon,United States

Spring Break 2011

2011-03-20T21:51:00.001-05:00

Wow! A jam packed week of family, friends, fun and sun! Our crew made it's way to the south of Texas, Galveston that is.... With a need for sun and water, our families joined together for another one of life's adventures. We stayed with our great friends Kat and Allen and their two kids Madison and Austin.

We collected seashells on the beach, flew kites, made sandcastles, spent time at Moody Gardens, ate Ben & Jerry's Ice-cream and hung out with the grandparents a few nights! It was a week of great memories!

Day 1 of San Diego Trip

2011-02-24T21:39:00.002-06:00

Make your own free digital scrapbook

Marketing Works!

2011-02-18T18:50:00.001-06:00

Jacob just said a great commercial tagline, proving that proper branding really works!

"Danimalicios! Get your double blast on!"

This while holding a softserve vanilla and chocolate cone at Las Rosas! Fun times!

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happiness is....

2011-02-17T21:47:00.001-06:00

Snuggled in a bed with my favorite people, dog and fluffy pillows at 9:45pm is dreamy happiness.

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Should'a - Would'a - Could'a

2011-02-14T01:01:00.000-06:00

Mommy sits here writing a little blurb about 'should'a - would'a - could'a'.

There once was the fair maiden, that lived in a castle, far, far away. She yearned for a little prince charming that would capture her heart. The fair maiden had so much love to give that it overwhelmed her. Then, one day, her little prince charming arrived. She began scrap-booking, making custom printed valentine's and even hand cut star shaped sandwiches to show all her love.

After a year or so passed, the fair maiden started to get busy cleaning up after the evil step sisters, 'should'a, would'a and could'a'. Although her love never faded, it was always suffocated by the evil sisters. Should'a called her early in the mornings with last minute tasks and urgent tasks. Would'a always waited until lunchtime with important tasks that needed to be handled immediately. Could'a was the laziest of them all and slept all day. She waited until the mid-night hour to wake the fair maiden with notes about forgotten tasks. Dealing with the step sisters demands proved to be too much for the fair maiden. She locked herself away, drowning in stress, depression and confusion.

One day, as the fair maiden was up working late, the little prince charming tugged on her apron. His big blue eyes stared straight into her soul. She could see how the evil step sisters were killing her passion, her dreams and her excitement for handcrafting treasures to shower the little prince. Slowly but surely, the fair maiden started to awaken from her fog. She no longer allowed the evil step sisters determine her fate. She found a way to start enjoying her little prince charming, balancing the evil sisters and handcrafting treasures to fill her soul with love and light.

And they lived happily ever after in Legoland.

The End!

OTTM: Over The Top Mom

2011-02-13T23:21:00.001-06:00

Why can't my mom just go to Walgreens for Valentine's like all the other mommies?

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grownups dont get prizes

2011-01-21T22:26:00.001-06:00

After a fantasic trip to Chuck E Cheese for a classmates birthday, the post pizza and cupcake meltdown was enough to convince me to rearrange our Feb. 4th celebration. Legoland is in our future. At least, that's what the Magic Eight Ball said.

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i wish i lived at Target

2011-01-21T21:25:00.001-06:00

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MOVIE SYNOPSIS : Return of the Jedi

2011-01-08T22:38:00.001-06:00

"Poor Anikin Died".

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can you get off my ship before your break it?

2011-01-08T21:55:00.001-06:00

We are watching the Star Wars series and tonight is Return of the Jedi. While watching the part where the Ewoks take The Princess, I repeated the Ewoks speech... Jacob asked, "are they speaking Spanish or Chinese? ".

That one was the best of many crazy questions! HAHAHAHA!

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More Mommy Milestones

2011-01-05T16:56:00.000-06:00

So, I finally got it all figured out. Yep! You guessed it! This supermom now has superior stress management under control.

Not really.

Before the holiday and for the entire first half of Jacob's adventures into public school, I was gouging my eyes out with stress. Reason? Around 1:00pm every day, I started to pace and check the clock. At 2:00pm, my brow started to bead with sweat. At 2:30pm, and no help in sight, I had to clock out of whatever I was working on, travel (or not travel) 30 or so minutes to sit in the carpool line to pick up my lovely son. My lovely son would get into said car, grumpy, smelling of pee and in desperate need to be taken care of. In previous years, this wasn't an issue. I could work a full day and ease into the daycare lot around 6:00pm. The routine was set and everyone knew what everyone was doing.

Fast forward to the first few days of school. I found myself FRANTIC having to figure out how to work and take care of Jacob without compromising everyones schedule. This wasn't a problem, REALLY, until I started to keep office hours, respect my time, move into my fathers office area and actually HAVE an office to go to each day.

After a few months of trying to get a grip, I decided not to make any changes until after the New Year. I looked at part time help, part time activities and it became more stressful than ever.

The smart part came after I passed a Kids R Kids daycare in our area and found out that they were (A) more affordable (B) more reliable, having an actual SCHEDULE and (C) had a BUS that picked up from the school. They provide snacks, homework stations and the students have their own elected board of directors that give the children a voice at the center.

Done. And......DONE.

The only thing I need now is a multi-lingual program that will continue his Spanish and teach him Italian.

Wine Tasing at Stein Eriksen Lodge

2011-01-03T01:10:00.000-06:00

Our ski trip was a little 'off' this year due to weather, family circumstances and the general duty that comes along with a vacation and a wedding. We were out of our known element so to speak. I took an opportunity to book an evening at Stein Eriksen Lodge with our family and the newly wed couple and some family friends. It took the edge off the trip a little and provided us a rare treat. I spoke with Cara, the Sommelier, a week before arriving to make sure she understood what SHE was getting into and to 'hook it all up' (a phase I borrow from time to time). Here is a little history on the Lodge.

Stein Eriksen is a legend and has built a wonderful atmosphere in the Deer Valley. It's amazing to think that you can land in Salt Lake and be on the mountain in less than an hour. Joel, Jacob and I have skied at Park City once and it was a blast. Since we have had to join the ranks of schools and vacation restrictions, our MOJO is off. Typically, we ski later in the year and not at the start of the season. Thus, the weather issues.

Back to the tasting. It was a fantastic evening of seven different wines, paired with different cheeses, smoked oysters, smoked salmon and salami. It was interesting to taste wines from all over the world, old world style and new world style. A true education. We used words like 'Jammy' and 'Chewy'. It was really awesome that she printed an entire Basics menu of descriptions that we could use. The wine tasting was a blind tasting to avoid the typical 'expert' opinions of the more experienced tasters. I thought that was a great idea and it actually got Joel involved by default. It was actually a really great adventure that ended up being and unexpected taste of fun. These were the wines we tasted:

Hugl Gruner Veltiner: Niederosterreich, Austria, 2008

Pazo Senorans Albarino: Rias Balxas, Spain, 2008

Casa Lapostolle Cuvee Alexandre Chardonnay: Atalayas, Casablanca Valley, Chile, 2006

Fisher Unity Rose: Napa, California, 2009

Chateau Musar Cabernet-Cinsault-Carignan, Bekaa Valey, Lebanon, 2000 (old world style)

Penfolds Pinot Noir Reserve: Adelaide Hills, Australia, 2006

GraEagle Red Wing: Cabernet Sauvignon-Cabernet Franc-Merlot-Syrah-Petit Verdot, Walla Walla, Washington, 2006

It was the most amazing night. Cara made non-wine drinkers really take note and fall in love with a wine. There was something for everyone there. It was amazing to taste different cheeses with the wines and uncover how fabulous each cheese, when paired correctly, really popped in your mouth! We all had a great time and a treasured evening.

Following our tasting adventure, we ate in the Glitretind Restaurant. It is a five star experience with a down home feel (if that is even possible). They really catered to us, however, we never felt stuffy or over fluffed. It was a WONDERFUL evening. I recommend the Risotto and the Australian Barramundi served with cous cous, green bean amandine, red ribbon sorrel, marcona beurre blanc. FABULOUS. I think I gained 20 pounds in one night. It was incredible. Joel had Elk meat for the first time and enjoyed it with his new found taste for Penfolds Pinot Noir. I bet it made his experience more enjoyable. I have to say, we have never been closer.

Ski Prep

2010-12-24T11:07:00.001-06:00

Yesterday was the first day sans drama. Well, it started off that way. We dropped Jacob at ski school while mom prepared to return home early from our ski trip. Aunt Kay called and a decision was made to return home to her ailing mother. My grandmother, Jacobs great grandmother.

Jacob is an expert skier despite the fact the rest of us couldn't quite get our ski legs. Today we go for a half day and prepare to return home.

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And a partridge in a chair lift....

2010-12-21T22:58:00.001-06:00

Ugh! I am getting WAY too old and WAY to spoiled for crouds of ski freaks on Christmas week...

More on the magical world of ski school and vacationing craziness when I find an macbook charger
lol

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Ski Trip: Travel Day

2010-12-19T12:04:00.000-06:00

The last time we traveled to Park City, Utah, it was without incident. It was just the three of us. Jacob, Joel and I and we were staying with a family friend at her condo. Million dollar penthouse is more like it. I must say, we are spoiled rotten when it comes to ski trips. Mom and Dad pick up the condo and take care of most of the living details. Last year, we traveled to Arrowhead in Beaver Creek / Vail. We stayed at a fabulous ski in / ski out resort and were spoiled with amazing decor and fantastic views. The snow wasn't great last year, but we had a great time.

THIS YEAR, we knew the travel would be stressful and staying with family is stressful no matter what. Everyone has their style of parenting, discipline and things that get annoying. As I write this, everyone has a cellphone beeping, iPAD blinking, charger missing, speaker phone on, kid screaming, parent yelling, toy fighting and movie going. Needless to say, the travel day was not stress free.

We started off great. If we weren't going to be able to get out of the stress of living with several people over the next week, at least we wanted a stress free travel day. Not happening. Due to the belts going out at the airport that carry luggage, my sister and her brood missed their flight. Luckily (wink) they were able to get on OUR flight. Mom and Dad made the next flight out and got stuck in Vegas for 12 hours. Our flight left on time and stopped in Austin. Once there, the flight connecting to ours was late so we ended up with a hour and a half delay. Good thing we were supposed to have an hour and a half layover in Phoenix. (can someone say non-stop?) We take off for Phoenix and once there, all restaurants are closed and we have another one hour delay. We finally get on the flight and settled into our seats and all seems well. Joel, Jacob and I sit near the front of the plane so we can get to the baggage claim faster. Once we land, the family two rows up feel it necessary to start a conversation with another family and literally BLOCK us all from exiting the plane. Finally, Joel and I literally (at the same time) yell at the guy to take the conversation off the plane and onto the terminal. We had been traveling all day and it was over.

We settled in and into our (dip in the middle) bed. This after fighting over who was sleeping in what bed.

Let the GAMES begin!

kids dance party

2010-11-19T22:28:00.001-06:00

Friday night lights!

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friday fun continued

2010-11-19T21:21:00.001-06:00

Always a party at the Schaffer and cousin Jacob

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Thanksgiving Lunch

2010-11-17T11:15:00.001-06:00

We got a chance to eat lunch with Jacob today. The good news is we met two new mommies that live in our neighborhood!

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HURM-PFH

2010-10-30T01:30:00.001-05:00

Happy Halloween from Jacob. This is his happy face.

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Lunch Box Bingo

2010-10-22T01:31:00.001-05:00

So. We are halfway through the first semester of Kindergarten and mommy has finally upgraded the lunch (hobo-style) hankie for a recycled lunch TOTE. A pack rat by nature, I saved this cute little sack that came with the flat sheets I brought for our summer camping trip. I didn't quite know what to do with them before now. I can't bring myself to purchase a lunch box for 20 bucks when I know it will end up at someone elses house one day.

We already lost the wonderbread sandwich container. I hope Jacob makes it out of Kindergarten alive and free of ridicule. I'm sure this will haunt me in therapy sessions later. Probably cheaper to just get a real lunch box. So far, so good.

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Something's Making My BRAIN Hurt....

2010-10-19T17:02:00.000-05:00

Today we walked home from school. Mommy needs to get more exercise, so I decided that since PE isn't scheduled every day of the week for Jacob, Tuesday and Thursday were the perfect times to run to the school and walk home hand in hand.

For the last few days, I have noticed a trend in poor choices and bad behavior. Not sure what is going on, but here is a clue:

Mommy: How was your day?
Jacob: I was on Blue and that means "uh-oh!".
Mommy: Why were you on blue today? What is going on with you?
Jacob: I don't know. I don't remember.
Mommy: Well, you were on yellow yesterday and today you are on blue? What happened to my sweet boy?
Jacob: My brain is trying to figure out how to act!
Mommy: Really?
Jacob: YES! Something is telling my brain that I should be BAD! It's saying that I need to talk a lot.
Mommy: Really! I guess your heart really wants to be good, but your brain won't let you!
Jacob: That's right! Something is making my brain hurt.

Food for Thought: A mindful cafeteria?

2010-09-26T23:43:00.000-05:00

To the food peeps at Alvin ISD, THANK YOU for our beautiful new calendar! It seems that you chose to print on recycled paper. Kudos. The calendar of meals also has a helpful 'dates to remember' for those mommies that are here for the first time. Your art department used fantastic graphics, remnant of the Farmer's Almanac. Juicy Tomatoes opened up as an August / September season starter. They gave a definition of tomatoes, answered a few brief summaries on how good they are for you and even spoke of flavor and taste. All these things nearly drew my attention away from the actual meals that are being provided to our young hearts, minds and bodies by the Alvin ISD School District.

Let's see....

Monday:
Breakfast: chicken slider
Lunch: Pizza Pocket, Whole Kernel Corn, Waffle Fries, Frozen Fruit Treat?

Tuesday:
Breakfast: French Toast Sticks
Lunch: Personal Pizza, Peas & Carrots, Fresh Fruit Wedges, Clodhoppers

Wednesday:
Breakfast: Cinnamon Roll w/ Turkey Sausage
Lunch: BBQ Rib Sandwich & Chips, Charra Beans, Caesar Salad, Fruit Crumble?

Thursday:
Breakfast: Pancake McGriddle
Lunch: Stuff Crust Pizza, Broccoli & Cheese Sauce, Orange Wedges, Fun Shaped Treat?

Friday:
Breakfast: Breakfast Pizza (really? )
Lunch: Bosco Sticks (not really sure what that is exactly), Fruit Berry Bites, Applesauce, Mixed Vegetables

I would detail the entire menu on each day of the week, alas it is almost the SAME every week. As a formerly obese parent / person, I can attest to the fact that you can't keep them away from the junk and processed foods, but you can educate. By placing a junk menu for my growing boy in a COSTUME of beautiful graphics that contradict the VERY message you are sending, it is my opinion that you are teaching my child that gorgeous, fresh tomatoes are JUST as good for you as a CLODHOPPER (again, not certain of this new vegetable).

In October, your menu graphics squeeze a fabulous quote about toasted Pumpkin seeds as great healthy snacks, how to bake them yourself at home, all suffocated inside a weeks worth of Popcorn chicken, Dino Nuggets and (you guessed it!) Popcorn chicken AGAIN in the same week!

I can give THANKS in November to the graphic teaching me "How to Make the World's Best Broccoli" in a healthy way, all it's vitamin riches and how it nourishes my body. Because you RUINED IT ALL with another week's worth of personal pizza, pocket pizza, breakfast pizza, and stuffed crust pizza ALL in ONE WEEK! Can I get my Pizza with broccoli on top please? In fact, your calendar tells me "Your whole body loves broccoli. Your heart, your brain, lungs and blood are all nourished by broccoli's vitamins A, B9, C & K. Believe it or not, broccoli has almost 50% more vitamin C than a fresh orange, so it's an important cold-buster for your immune system. broccoli is also a good source of beta carotene, which is important for good vision. It's also a great source of vitamins A and B9, which are important for your heart, brain, lungs and blood." HMMMMM....what is pocket pizza good for? You guessed it: GETTING FAT and making me PASS OUT in class. Yummy! I think the amount of salt in each of these items actually BLINDS you over time....

I can go on and on as the calendar speaks of root vegetables, how to grow your own herb gardens, growing and harvesting your own corn and how to harvest seasonal vegetables. Your district is fooling people into thinking that you actual care about the commitment to nourishing mind body and spirit.

The Alvin ISD menu calendar closes with the 2010-2011 nutrition information; stated " Alvin ISD Child Nutrition Services is committed to providing students with healthy school meals. Menus are designed to provide a variety of choices that meet 1/3 of the Recommended Daily Allowance of nutrients for each meal." Further down, you report: " In an effort to combat childhood obesity and its associated costs, the Texas Department of Agriculture has launched a comprehensive nutrition policy for public schools in Texas. Some of the areas that may affect you as a parent are the limits on outside foods brought into the school cafeterias. While the TDA does not regulate what YOU brings YOUR child, it does not allow parents to brings in foods for children other than your own. TDA has also set limits on the types of snacks that parents may bring in to school to share with other students in the classroom. Birthday celebrations are still not allowed but they must not be conducted in the cafeteria. "

Is this supposed to be real? Am I reading this right? I mean, my mommy doesn't read a TON, but I think she can read THIS loud and clear. This school district is KILLING my child. Thank GOD I pack his lunch everyday, but what happens when Mommy isn't around and GOD FORBID I have a lapse in judgement and allow him to eat at school? You are fighting against obesity? Not with 100,000 calorie MEALS you aren't! These little bodies can't take that kind of abuse. No WONDER out nation is full of fat people that can't breathe, can't see their feet. Oh! And I suppose you aren't going to let them out to PLAY or run laps, or even jog back to the classroom? Ok. I get it.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret AISD: Your problem isn't a CUPCAKE.

Chariots of Fire: The mommy version

2010-09-17T01:37:00.001-05:00

Breaking News: I lost my keys.

Rewind to 3:02pm today. Mommy at work station, pre-occupied by the typical last minute edits to artwork. Impending banner crisis and client happiness are on the line. 3:02pm. She looks up at the clock, tuna hardening in a bowl not inches from her last dipped chip. What? Initial panic sets in....but wait! Carpool line lasts at LEAST 20 minutes. Heart rate subsides. Mommy slips on her shoes and grabs a glass of water for the arduous 2 minute ride to Savannah Lakes Elementary School. Keys.....Keys....Keys.....hmmmmm. Where ARE her keys? Drawers. Table Top. Desk. Kitchen. Drawers. Table Top, Desk. Kitchen. BATHROOM. POWDER ROOM. Panic is setting in.

3:10pm. DRAWERS. DRAWERS. DRAWERS. Tears start to rape her eyes. Lip, quivers. KEYS! KEYS! KEYS! WHERE ARE THE GAWD-DAMMED KEYS?????? Please. GOD! Show her the KEYS!

3:15pm. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? RRRREEEEEAAAAALLLLLLYYYYY????? JOEL. He must have picked up the keys. Dialing, Voice Mail, Dialing, Voice Mail, PANICKING, Dialing, Dialing, Dialing. Nothing.

3:20PM. Jacob.....Oh my GOD! Jacob! Does she walk? No time. RUN??? Mommy is weeping. Can't think clearly. Jacob, he must be so alone. Mommy isn't in the usual place at the usual time. Panic. Tears accosting her face. You have to do what you have to do girl, now is the time. Did the Tummy Tuck Take? Mommy straps on her running shorts, and shoes. Sports bra? WHERE IS THE F@#$%*! sports BRA!!!!!!!!! Found, she pounces on the concrete like an Olympian.

3:25pm. Already too late. Mommy should have thought of this sooner. Jacob will be crying. He won't know what to do! All the other kids are outside being picked up RIGHT NOW. Teachers are shoveling kids into cars. There is no car today.

She hasn't seen a concrete jungle like this one in months, YEARS! Cell phone in hand, she runs. Weeping, Panicking. How long will this take? How fast can I get there? Running, Running, Running.....panting.....Running, Running, Running. Legs burning, she forgets the knot in her neck AND the $50 bucks she won last night at Karaoke....it never ends but it will come back.

Mommy descends on the school. Desperate. No cars left. No announcements being made. No teachers shoveling kids. No Jacob in sight. She reaches the front doors and glimpses something twirling inside. Marvel backpack, spinning, spinning, spinning. And then...that smile! That "MOMMY!" smile. Relief. Jacob is excited. Cared for, cool inside. Mommy collapses on the bench. "Jacob! Mommy is SO sorry that she was late! Please forgive me! Mommy lost her keys and had to run here to get you! I should have left earlier....". Big Hugs.

Mommy and Jacob leave the school and start a leisurely walk home, hand in hand. Forever labeled, Jacob stands confused. "Mommy? I'm not a WALKER, I'm a RIDER!". "Well Jacob, today we are walking home." Mommy starts to cull her thoughts. KEYS. Damn KEYS! Sweet boy....where are they. Thinking, Thinking, Thinking....

"Mommy? It's OK if you pick me up late sometimes....it's OK."
"Jacob? I love you so much! I am SO proud of you for being such a big boy and waiting for me!"
"I KNOW! And I didn't even CRY about that"
"Mommy lost her keys and she is so sorry that she didn't leave earlier to come get you! And you know what Jacob?"
"What Mommy?"
"I think I remember where I left them.....Sometimes, when you are panicked about something, your brain shuts off and you can't even remember to think!"
"Mommy? What is panic and why did your brain shut off?"

Jacobism # 1 trillion and 5

2010-08-24T10:00:00.000-05:00

*eating his chocolate Jello pudding dessert*

Jacob: Mmmmmm....wow. I always get so muddy when I eat chocolate pudding.

First Day of Kindergarten

2010-08-23T23:17:00.000-05:00

And so the story left untold, is the not greatest story of all. Welcome to the Savannah Lakes Elementary School. Jacob is five and a half years old and head and shoulders taller than any Kindergartener I know. It's plain to see that Jacob took to his first day with ease and delight. It's hard not to love a school with an open-air library filled with interactive tools, stuffed African animals and positive banners and flags waving you on! We walked steadily towards the "Aquatics" wing of the school. Quite fitting, I must say, being that he is a little Aquarian! Our water baby walks the halls with great white sharks and sea turtles and swims up to room 502 where he was promptly welcomed into a new class. Seems like they had been waiting for him for years. It was a great feeling of calm coupled with fantastic feelings of security. This is where he is meant to be.... AND, no one made fun of his 'hobo-style' lunch bandana! They all thought it was really cool, in fact, that Jacob's lunch hankie had a neatly wrapped package that made a perfect red placemat. I'm sure they all were AMAZED at how simple and reusable this little invention is...whatever mom. I'm taking that one while I can get away with it.

New Days Dawning

2010-08-23T02:08:00.000-05:00

So here you go again...I blink and there you are. Bigger, thicker, stronger, more sensitive. It's amazingly sad to watch you go, I can't take my eyes off you. My world moves fast with you in it. My baby is dying and my young man is thriving. How can five years be so old? Where did it go? Right now, my soul is in slow motion. My heart is terrorizing time and forcing each second to slowly come to a stop. With all the hustle and bustle, I forgot to slow myself down long enough to allow this moment to seep in. And here, in the darkness of the morning, I catch my breath. Breathing is a luxury I don't generally take. Even now, I write this holding it. Every breath means another second of life lived. It's outstanding to wonder how little pockets of time literally crawl to a stop, forcing me to live in the moment. Your moments and mine relived. Your growth is deep and meaningful and forces me to recognize those lost moments in time. See them, hear them, live them, with you, all over again. How deliciously evil is this life? I get a chance to reclaim myself through you. A do-over, if you will.

Today was the last day I knew you as you were and I am excited about who you are about to become. It's surreal to ponder this long life lived as tears fill my eyes. My mommy duties are gearing up and new days are dawning. Lunch packed, backpack filled, lists checked, forms filled, shots taken, teeth clean, hair cut (mommy style), new clothes set out, new shoes waiting for little feet, all is right, plan in place. I think. And tomorrow, just like that, we will walk together as we always do, down the hall and into something new. This new day dawns on me too. Wonderful surprises, tough situations, enormous pressures, new relationships, fabulous experiences, vast memories. It's today, sweet baby, that you leave the nest on another flight. This journey, different from the last, will be exciting for us all. And much like the road from whence you came, this journey alike will be filled with love, laughter and joy.

Mommy? What is WOW?

2010-08-10T07:45:00.000-05:00

Jacob: Mommy? Why does your tummy hurt?
Mommy: I'm not sure, must have been something I ate.
Jacob: Was it something here? In the house?
Mommy: Probably. But when I burp it feels better....
Jacob: When my tummy hurts, sometimes if I fart, it feels better.
Mommy: LOL. I know what you mean.

Last year, I attended the Licensing Show in Las Vegas and picked up a new author / illustrators book. She signed it and gave me a fun toy to bring home. The book is called "a place to grow" written by stephanie bloom (cute) and illustrated by kelly murphy. It's funny how fast we move through life. As I sit and write this, I realize that I am holding a first edition childrens book that has been signed by Stephanie Bloom: "To Jacob: May you always bloom and grown! Growth is in the journey! Best Wishes, SBloom". The illustrations are fantastic. I did a little digging and found some information about Kelly Murphy on-line. Turns out, this isn't a one man band. After a little research, it was obviously that strategic partnerships, coupled with the universe and good talent brought this little grower together.

We just started reading it this year. Reading stories with everyone curled up in bed, rooting around, snuggling and laughing. So tired and giddy with laughter that we end up making up half the story. On page 10, there is a illustration of the seed floating through the air and you can see the farm land, pond, pigs in the pond swimming, top of the big red barn and other fun musings. It's a great perspective drawing and you really feel the seed floating with the wind through the air. In this illustration, you see a pig diving into the water so all you get is the shot of his butt. The text reads "The tiny seed floated down from the sky and landed on the earth without a sound. Could this be my place to grow? The tiny seed wondered. Where has it landed this time? Silky tufts of clover blanketed the fresh, green pasture."

The Jacob version? :"The tiny seed floated down from the sky and landed on a pigs butt without a sound. Could this be my place to grow? The tiny see wondered. Where had it landed this time? Silky butts of clover blanketed the fresh, pink butts."

After rolling around a little more and rooting into place, Jacob asked a silly questions and my response was "WOW!".

Jacob: Mommy? What is WOW?
Mommy: *shit. what IS wow?*
Mommy: Wow is like....AMAZING! FANTASTIC!
Jacob: Mommy? Is WOW like when my spider shooters come out of my arms like, Poosh! Ouch! and they go BAM!, like that? And the bad guy is dead?
Mommy: Just like that.

Here is the reference JUST in case other mommies forget what WOW means:

wow (wo̵u)

interjection

used variously to express surprise, wonder, pleasure, pain, etc.

noun

☆ Slang a remarkable, successful, exciting, etc. person or thing

transitive verb

Slang to be a great success with; arouse enthusiasm in

☆ wow (wo̵u)

noun

a distortion in reproduced sound resulting from slow variations in the speed of the turntable, tape, etc. in either recording or playing

Origin: echoic

Webster's New World College Dictionary Copyright © 2010 by Wiley Publishing, Inc., Cleveland, Ohio.
Used by arrangement with John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

wow¹ (wou) Informal
interjection

Used to express wonder, amazement, or great pleasure.

noun

An outstanding success.

transitive verb wowed, wow·ing, wows

To have a strong, usually pleasurable effect on: a performance that wowed the audience.

wow² (wou)
noun

Slow variation in the pitch of a sound reproduction resulting from variations in the speed of the recording or reproducing equipment.

Origin: Imitative.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 4th edition Copyright © 2010 by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. Published by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company. All rights reserved.

Dreams

2010-07-17T00:40:00.000-05:00

Jacob: Mommy? You know what I want to dream about?
Mommy: "what?"
Jacob: I'm going to dream about beautiful flowers, the color you like.
mommy: you are?
Jacob: yes! and i am going to dream about you and me and daddy and spot.
mommy: really?
Jacob: yes. I want a baby brother a sister. we can still be a family with a nana, a papaw, mommy and daddy, but i don't know what my grandpa looks like that's dead. I want to dream about us being a family.
mommy: me too.

2010-07-04T13:24:00.000-05:00

Photo by: Jacob Kyle Schafer (Tiki Island, TX on July 4, 2010)

Edits bt: mommy

Hello Muthah, Hello Fathah...Greatings from Camp...Schafer Drama!

2010-07-02T20:27:00.000-05:00

It was a dark and dreary night.....

Not really. As the thunder clouds roll into Houston for our first Tropical Depression, my own little version has started to dissipate.

Last Thursday, after a week of all night work and follow-up, The Schafer clan headed for the Leisure Resort RV Park to enjoy our annual R&R with The Rogers clan. Family friends since birth, Thom and Jen and their brood are a few of the families that we truly have a great connection with and enjoy short vacations. After purchasing a POP-UP trailer, The Rogers suggested we get together at a fun family camp after school let out. Sounds good enough.

Per usual, the trek to San Marcos was filled with snacks, good conversation and general Jacobisms. One fun Jacobism on the way up: "Daddy? Why are we on Earth and what does Earth mean?" We stopped in Luling, TX. and grabbed some of the fresh fruits and veggies for our camping trip from the local growers. After all, it was the "watermelon thump" and we couldn't pass up fresh produce!

Once we rolled into the camp, got parked and walked around our campsite a minute, Jacob decides to head for the river. Not quite ready for a dip or to let my new little swimmer rage against the current, I suggested he try the playground instead. Within site, I didn't think anything of it. While we were settling in with The Rogers and getting unpacked, I hear my little monkey and his all-too-obvious yell coming from the playground. He was holding his wrist but I didn't think it was a big deal. My over dramatic son tends to over exaggerate most painful situations. Joel went to 'rescue' him and came back carrying a broken boy.

After mastering the fine art of monkey bar gymnastics, Jacob was confident that he could make it across this set with no problem. One tiny tug across the bars and he fell and broke his left arm. A retired physician that works at the resort happened to be around and offered to take a look. After ice and kisses, Jacob agreed to the 'appointment'. His only words were, 'yep! better go have that looked at'.

He suggested a new Seton hospital outside of San Marcos in Kyle, TX. Thankfully, it was a Thursday afternoon and a new small town facility. The ER was empty and the attending nurse saw us before we could finish signing in completely. He agreed that it was broken and we prayed that we might 'get lucky'. All I could think of at this point was, "it sure would be nice if they had vodka in vending machines".

We got into a room right away and the ER doctors assessed him, took x-rays and wrapped him in a splint in under three hours. So much for our River Trip!

Not wanting to ruin our trip, I decided that we should tough it out. We figured out how to make his cast 'water proof' by double wrapping it in dried out ICE bags and attaching it with waterproof skin tape. Jacob was the hit with all the cute, bikini clad, river rats and by the end of our stay was the most popular little boy at camp. We met a great couple that stayed at a campsite next to us and cooked out on the campfire and grill every night.

We had a great time cooking, swimming, playing music and spending time with our friends. By the time we went home on Sunday, I think we were all a little well-done. Monday rolls around and it turns out, the doc at the ER had set his arm really well. So, one blue Spiderman arm cast later and we are back in business!

ROGERS - SCHAFER 2010

2010-07-02T19:50:00.002-05:00

Another digital scrapbooking design by Smilebox

Becoming a MOTHER

2010-06-24T01:23:00.000-05:00

A mother is someone that 'handles it' or 'takes care of it' or even supplies the endless answers to WHY??? A mother is calm and gentle. Even tempered and organized. She laughs at everything and makes cookies and shit. She's organized and 'TOGETHER', never flustered by the endless repetition of daily doings.

I'm not a mother. I am learning, but I don't think you EARN the right until you are about 60. I'm a wreck, proven so by the onslaught of SUMMER TIME. And the 'livin' ain't EASY!' I can't find my brain, exhausted by scheduling and apologizing to my clients for my motherly conflicts. Arranging my day around a vibrant.....PERSON.....is not easy.

This is my first attempt at being a Summertime mom. I have negotiated camps, swim lessons, vacation bible school and family camping trips. I have been late, upset, overwhelmed, crazed and confused by this BEING that requires some level of engagement in any given day. I am NOT a mother. I want to scream. Loudly. Even though my voice will not be heard.

We missed the pre-registration for Kindergarten. OK. Now, I scramble for an electric bill, a shots record (that I'm not certain we are current on), dental appointments, school clothes purchases, eye exams, spinal taps (kidding), OH MY! REALLY??? What is the HUSTLE all ABOUT? I seriously can't get a grip!

Now, I sit paranoid that "Dora the Explorer" wasn't enough Spanish for the Summer and I will have sabotaged all that he learned in five years at IVY KIDS for a Summer of crazed MOMMYDOM! I didn't sign up for this. I signed up for peace and harmony, love and light. Not chaos and craziness that ensues because the PTA has a HIT OUT on you for providing too many PB&J sandwiches.

Becoming a mother HURTS and not the way that you think. It HURTS to give up everything you know for "THE SYSTEM". It sucks to fork over your SHOE / BOOZE allowance for a new pair of jeans you KNOW won't last the trip home. It's painful to sacrifice your body, mind and SOUL to this creature that plays tug-of-war with your heart. This is worse than a bad boyfriend. Becoming a mother and living that life, day after day, rocking away.....really....hurts.

Having a son is double the trouble. The little five year old 'girlfriends' that accost my car as I arrive for drop off. The McDonald's fascination and cravings that can't be squelched. The thirst for more WATER, POOLS and SWIMMING. Man. I'm done. I can't keep up. And my clients are starting to WONDER why my makeup regiment went from 'smokey eyes' to a swipe of mascara. My wardrobe from super polished to dusting off the NUT BARS. Seriously....I have GOT to get this under control.

Jacobisms for the Day

2010-06-24T00:58:00.002-05:00

Jacob: Mommy? What does 'take care of it' mean?

Mommy: Well.....it means, you 'handle' it.

Jacob: I don't WANT to 'handle it'....

Mommy: Why not?

Jacob: It's just not what I DO.

Jacobisms

2010-06-09T16:17:00.000-05:00

"Mommy? My brain doesn't understand what it's trying to think."

"Mommy? My brain won't let me take a rest."

(showing me five pennies) "Mommy? How much cents will this toy buy?"

There are more little quips that are told by the all mighty little one, but these should make you smile for the day!

It's the Climb- Jacob's Graduation from Pre-K and leaving Ivy Kids forever.

2010-05-26T00:06:00.000-05:00

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Poolside Fun with Family & Friends!

2010-05-25T22:37:00.002-05:00

A free photo slideshow by Smilebox

The Call

2010-05-17T07:38:00.000-05:00

Both Joel and I have been traveling a lot and saving our family and friends from situations that force us to pass Jacob off from time to time. That being said, we both try to talk to Jacob all the time no matter what and let him know we love him dearly. These are excerpts from our calls:

Jacob: Mommy? This is Batman.
Mommy: Hello Batman.
Jacob: *seriously* Hello.
Mommy: I love you Batman.
Jacob: I love you too.

Mommy: Can I still call you Jacob? I love the name Jacob.
Jacob: Yes mommy, you can always call me Jacob. I will love you no matter what.
Mommy: I love YOU no matter what...Always and forever.
Jacob: Always and forever, one billion, million, one thousand six times.
Mommy: me too.

Mommies New Babies

2010-05-13T00:06:00.000-05:00

This time, I am prepping for my Pre-Cougar status for the next few years until I move into MILF and then onto the Legendary COUGAR...Here is how I spent my mother's day!

I wanted to take a moment to let you all know I am recovering extremely well. Everyone that called or texted me before during and after made me smile and even more at ease. My family and best friend Summer and Jill were on watch due to my families extensive schedules....Summer snuck into the recovery room (forbidden) labeled as my sister and was there to greet me as I came to (which I do not really remember). I remember Joanna ( my real sister) wiping my face and cleaning my skin, brushing my hair and Summer tending to my feet and hands. I was very pampered. Joel arrived into Houston LATE that night so Summer took the task of tending to me overnight (a task she is familiar with at any drugged level *wink*). I was comforted to know that our earlier training sessions of moving me around at a dead sleep and giving me juice and pain meds PAID OFF. Thanks Summer Bummer! I don't remember much else except coming in and out and them forcing me to suck air into my lungs so I 'didn't die'. Hmmmm. I did my job and of course that forced me to cough. You will clinch at WHY that wasn't tops on the list in a moment. I was also forced to get up and WALK and the next day take a COLD SHOWER. Who didn't they want to DIE? Pretty sure it was the gal next door b/c I was DEFINITELY being TORTURED. Poor Jill was there as my witness and decided that it was a 'bit too much' and I don't blame you. Tammy and Mom took care of Jacob for an extended period of time and I am ever grateful. Mom or NANA is a legendary Cougar and has already achieved GOLD STAR status.

So, plan to slip in a tummy tuck turned into major abdominal surgery, a three day hospital stay that I extended to four (Thank God) and now recovering to tell you all the mystical story of Franken-Titty! My intent to regain my body post Jacob and breast feeding...

I can't stand up straight. He took 5.5 liters of fat ( equal to 2 and a half two liter bottles of coke) and also 3.5 pounds of skin and ALL four of my stomach tattoos. Yes, folks! Blare the latino music and a James Bond theme song and you have a rough idea of the Octopussy, Flaming Sun and Chinese Two Characters that meant "Dangerous Woman" or "Moo-Goo Gai Pan" you pick. They will be sorely missed and I can qualify the sorely part. The breasts are great but took 'second base' (plug for Jill Vidal - buy a shirt and support breast cancer). The really fun part was that my muscles are sewn together from breast bone to pubic bone coupled with a hip to hip bikini line black suture smiley face. I am sewn so tight that I am huntched over and SLOWLY I am starting to stretch back out again. Stressing the word SLOWLY here. You can imagine my terror when they asked me to PEE and COUGH up a lung. Thank GAWD I wasn't having a sneezing fit or had that much fluid in my lungs from the surgery.

Mom and Dad got to be there for my first SHOWER! It lasted about 5 minutes max and I am pretty sure I almost fell on top of the nurse three times. Currently, I am sporting the latest fashion is drainage bulbs that siphon the remaining fluid and fat from my middle section. They are coming straight out of my NEW va - jeh jeh! Now I REALLY know what it's like to have a couple of balls hanging between my legs. Looking forward to cutting them off soon. I DO KNOW, I will not be eating BACON GREASE anytime soon! Yum-O!

I am walking more today and taking pain meds only at night. My energy level is good and I feel better and better. I see the Doctor tomorrow at 3pm and will let you all in on the update!

Can't wait for my new costumes.....! Wonder Woman!

I don't want to Grow Up!

2010-05-04T19:26:00.000-05:00

Jacob: Mommy?
Mommy: Yes?
Jacob: I will love you no matter what.

Mommy: I will love YOU no matter what...

Jacob: Mommy?
Mommy: Yes?
Jacob: If you don't feed me, I won't grow big...
Mommy: But I will always feed you.
Jacob: But I don't want to grow up bigger...

Mommy: *perplexed*

Jacob: I don't want to be bigger because then my costume won't fit....

The Climb

2010-04-28T21:55:00.002-05:00

Today was like any other day. Rushed. Poised.

I held your hand. Like every other day.
I kissed your face. Like every other day.

I wasn't prepared for the Stage Mother in me to creep up, without warning.

Today, during snack, your class was practicing the 'graduation' song. Miley Cyrus' "The Climb".

I know this well, however, I wasn't prepared.

Here are the Lyrics and Video:

The Climb @ Yahoo! Video

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
The pain I'm knowing
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

So. We are set to practice this at home in preparation for your pre-school graduation. And....per usual, I wasn't prepared for how I would feel about this. I also wasn't prepared for your performance and what that means to me and your daddy.

It's illegal to be that amazing...at least in four countries.

Jacobisms

2010-04-21T21:00:00.003-05:00

Little nuggets of our day to day are spent smelling the butter-cups. When I find myself going through the daily grind and following too close to routine, I peel off the path and end up in park. The Pearland Park. Kids squealing, Dogs playing, buttercups blooming, Splash Pad working (finally!). Jacob, Spot and I are geared up: "mommy? I think we should go to Spot's park first, THEN my park, OK?". This after weeks of fits over whose park we always go to first. Spot gets dibs so he can play and get exhausted. Works like a charm. After fifteen minutes and several doggie kisses later, we run like the wind to Jacob's park. The splash pad is full of kids. No matter that we didn't prepare with a towel and swim trunks. No problem at all. Hopefully Jacob will remember this lesson in imperfection leading to sheer happiness. That being flexible in any situation will lead to playful success.

No swim suit.
No towel.
No problem.
Let's get wet!

If you could run screaming to any destination, where would that be? Today, it was Pearland Splash Park.

We draw a crowd as we go to leave. A little girl, a tad aggressive and bothersome, wants to pet Spot. She apparently is very weary that he might bite her, but not enough to prevent her from continuing to try. We excuse ourselves as she tries to extract the leash from my hands and I see Jacob running into a flower filled field. He is searching, searching. I am mildly annoyed he left me to deal with the little girl. As I catch up with him, he quickly finds the perfect pink buttercup. He holds it high in the air towards me just as my thoughts drift to those tender moments when he picks a beautiful flower for me. Just as I start to break a smile, " mommy! can you help me give this beautiful flower to that girl?"

This. Is. The. Moment. Record it mommy. This is the moment. This is the day. Above all other days. I now have to share my flowers with annoying little girls.

Children's Museum 2010

2010-04-14T23:19:00.000-05:00

A fun trip to The Children's Museum early this year (2010) with Aunt Lynn and Aunt Lori. Cousin Eli was on hand with cousin Maya. It was a virtual blast!

Can't wait to go again!

Easter at Aunt Lynn's

2010-04-14T22:49:00.001-05:00

Exploding Chicken Eggs, Blue PEEPS, sidewalk chalk and tree mounted Easter Eggs. All amount to loads of fun.

Too bad the CHICKENS didn't hold up. By the end of the night, we had:

CHICKNEY SPEARS!

Sunscreen Mishap

2010-04-14T22:37:00.003-05:00

So, Jacob and I went for an early beach trip (seen below, earlier posts) and the obvious choice for the day was Bull Frog Sunscreen. This stuff is so thick that it literally takes a few hot showers to remove it (even after salt and sand). As I was slathering his little body and face with said sunscreen, I make a comment:

MOMMY: Jacob! Wow! This lotion makes you look like an INDIAN!
JACOB: Why? Because I have a DOT on my forehead?

Apparently, my attempts at early multicultural exposure has worked. Little did I know! I had to stop a moment and think about that one. I had always assumed FEATHERS and WAR PAINT! My bad...

Time in a Bottle

2010-04-03T03:05:00.001-05:00

What started out as an innocent invitation to enjoy the spring weather, sand and saltwater, quickly turned into captured moments and sanity regained. "Let it Go" was the mantra of today. Without words, only actions, time was suspended allowing my body a chance to relax. This family, so bold, so confident, so aware and self preserved took me to a place where nothing else mattered. There was no 'fast track', no deadlines, no crashing stress and no worry. It was as if time was placed in a bottle released only by whimsical laughter, splashes of water, subtle glances, nap time and simple pleasures. It has been a long time since I was able to just 'be'. I left my phone at the condo, silenced, as if by some stretch of the imagination, it could ring me from a few miles up the road. A ring tone in my beach bag nearly stopped my heart until I realized it wasn't my phone. For a brief tense moment, I was suspicious of who might be on the other end. Was it someone looking for me that KNEW I was trying to be 'unavailable'? Silly, but sharp. I need to look into that.

Watching my son captivates me. Screams of chilled delight in the too cold waves of pre-summer play massaged my soul. He collapses onto a lounge chair and gently breathes "this is a really good day" over and over. In his way, thankful we made today National Jacob and Mommy Day.

Stress eased away when Jacob slowly allowed the slight crashing of the waves take him into dreamland. He slept most of the late afternoon with his head in my lap, curled in a beach towel. The remaining balance of the dream was spent lying on my chest in a beach chair. When he awoke, he had a glamorous tale of swimming with me and the good sharks that 'didn't eat us!'. "Let it Go". The signs were everywhere. I felt as if I had been transported into another world. A place where 'normal' people live. Barking dogs, little children, crashing waves, sandy feet, Frisbee, beach balls and young people sent me into a trance. I like this. My breathing got slower, easier.

This invitation was the best thing that could have happened to me. It was an invitation to relax, regroup and unwind. To remind me that I didn't need to try to BE somebody, I already WAS. And to that effect, it didn't even matter that much. So why care? I had wound myself up into a ball of stress, for what? Calls will get answered, emails taken care of, and projects delivered on-time with a smile.

I started to take note. My best friend and her family welcoming mine into the fold of 'normal'. As Jacob stated a few nights back, 'what color is normal?'. It's the color of family, the color of sand, water, wind and love. Paying attention to kindness and not 'behaving'. Allowing simple freedom of play to just happen. Not much has to be said. So this is the addiction? Ok. I get it. Without words, only actions, life is happening. Subtle hints of love and caring. As Jacob lays down to rest again, his only words: "mommy, you gave me so much love today". And I was given so much in return.

My Heart

2010-04-03T02:55:00.001-05:00

And you.....with your laugh, so big and strong. Melting my heart with smiles abundant. Who do you think you are? That forgiveness, so RICH! How dare you? Don't you talk sweet to me....it will get you everywhere. If you show me your SPIDERMAN muscles one more time....I swear!

If that never dies, I will be forever grateful. That spirit of love that infects me with whimsy and charm. Restless arms and limitless heart. I can't bear to think of ever being without it. I am addicted and punished by pure, innocent silence. The kind of words that never need speaking. I don't know why I crave you so.

My sweet, sweet little boy. Thanks to the Universe your heart grows faster than your limbs. It knows you will outlast your days and put shame to memories. Simple paper and pen, lens and album will never capture. Your heart is light and pure. Just right for all my blessed days.

What happend?

2010-03-31T01:41:00.000-05:00

J: Mommy? What happens if my heart explodes?
M: wow!
J: I guess I would die and my heart would never be fixed. It would be broken forever.
M: *kiss* If you only knew.

I hate the universe for providing me with massive amounts of foreshadowing right now. Joel brought home photos of you in a cap and gown and I could see your mature face emerging before my eyes. Shed a few unwanted tears. And .... the broken heart. You have never felt a broken heart and when your heart explodes emotionally, I will be here. Forever accepting, forever shielding, forever. Forever.

Through Your Lens

2010-03-31T01:25:00.001-05:00

Through your lens, my child is star kissed, moon beamed, captured bliss. Through your lens, my child is limitless.
Through your lens, my baby is ever loving, preserved sweetly, religious.
Your lens. Your heaven. Your Angels. Your kiss.

My baby, once needy, now greedy... for smiles.
My child, once shy, now the star... of the show.
My baby. My child. My adolescence...realized.

Lisa, this one came to me. Glass of wine? Sure. Heart? Always.

I received photos of Jacob, in his graduation day cap and gown from Pre-school. I still have the old calendars and first photos you ever took of him. His smile, in these images, is posed and sweet, and my heart is broken.

Thank you for allowing me to capture his milestones.....emerging youth, sweet beauty. Thank you.

Spring Break 2010

2010-03-19T10:09:00.001-05:00

A digital scrapbooking design by Smilebox

Cupcake Coma

2010-03-18T23:34:00.000-05:00

Recently, we were invited to participate in a gathering known as 'the long day of Spring'. The Creech family invited several families over to enjoy the warming of the weather for a very harsh winter. There were veggies, dips, fruits, sangria, cupcakes and treats. Jacob played dress-up outnumbered by Princesses and Divas. All was right with the world. On the way home, in true form, Jacob passes out from heavy play. When we arrived at our home and unlocked the car door, only two words came to mind: Cupcake Coma. Jacob had a half eaten cupcake in the crook of his arm, head plastered against the seatbelt and car window with a disturbing chocolate sprinkled mustache framing his face.

Moments with the Creech family have proved to be priceless ones.

My Pride and Joy

2010-02-10T20:19:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I picked up Jacob from his daycare. He noticed a hole in the clouds and the following conversation ensued:

Jacob: "That cloud has a hole in it that you can fall through."
Me: "Did you fall through that cloud?"
Jacob: "No"
Me: "Where did you come from?"
Jacob: "I'm from Texas!"

I have never been so proud.

Happy Birthday! Today you are FIVE!

2010-02-04T08:48:00.000-06:00

Today marks your 5th year on this Earth. This year, we are lucky to have celebrated on our annual ski trip. Spiderman cupcakes and pizza last night to celebrate John's birthday too, we are having a blast.

Snow Report:

The Arrowhead mountain was super slick this year with ice in the afternoons the first few days. We opted to Ski Beaver Creek. Yesterday wasn't a great day even though the slopes were groomed. The morning was great but the afternoon was very icy. I can't handle ice skating with skis and Joel bit it on Centennial (lower black under the lift) due to the fact it was literally a wall of ice. Thank God he decided to purchase a helmet the day before, but now we need knee, shoulder and elbow pads. I swear he can find a reason to buy something. Yet, I continue on for 25 years with literally some of the same gear. I wasn't having fun on the slopes and after his fall we decided to quit around 2:00pm.

Today we are going to put all those ski school skills they learned over the last week to the test. Jacob and Will (his best friend) are so exhausted from skiing but they are really doing well and having a great time. All of us are going to ski the mountain and I think take the gondola up (buckaroo express) and ski the little greens that they are used to. Although, with 13 people, everyone has an opinion on how the plan should go.

This morning we woke up to three inches (new) and it looks like it's snowing on the top of Beaver Creek / Arrowhead. We haven't ventured out yet but today is the day we are skiing with the boys. Jacob did really great this week and today is his birthday. He was sleeping with us last night (well, every night) and when we whispered "Happy Birthday!", he whispered back " I can't wait to see how BIG I am". Everyone made a big deal about how much he had grown and how tall he had gotten overnight, just to keep the game going. So cute.

Ski Trip Scrap Book.

2010-02-03T00:53:00.000-06:00

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Ski Trip - Arrowhead 2010

2010-02-02T23:22:00.000-06:00

All the boys tubing with Papa and John at the base of Arrowhead mountain. Lots of fun!

January 30, 2010

Ski Trip - Beaver Creek Colorado 2010

2010-02-02T23:15:00.000-06:00

Saturday afternoon: 1-30-2010

Jacob and Will get all their ski boots and sign into ski school at Beaver Creek resort in Colorado. My big boy!

2010-01-24T17:18:00.000-06:00

Getting Ready for The Annual Ski Trip.

2009-12-28T22:55:00.000-06:00

January 2009-trip to Utah.

Last year, Jacob was old enough to have a good time traveling to ski at Park City, Utah. We stayed with a family friend in her new condo. It was really awesome and one of our imtimate families first trips with just the three of us. It was pretty neat.

This year, we are headed with the entire clan to Arrowhead Basin to stay in a ski in / ski out condo. Arrowhead is near Beaver Creek and Vail in Colorado.

We are all very excited and Jacob can't wait to start ski school. This year will be full of more fun times. We can't wait.

Marvel Comic Series with Jacob Schafer

2009-12-28T19:26:00.000-06:00

Spiderman:What are you doing batman?
Batman: I'm flying through the air, what do you think I'm doing?
S: Here BM, you can have 100 dollars!
BM: Cool dude. Now I can go out and get a motorcycle like YOU. Then, I will be cool.
SM: Yeah man.....SPEND ALL THAT MONEY!

Mommy....mommy, look....mommy, look at this (patting the iron cave)

___________________________________

SM: My webs are bad webs. Ouch!
BM: AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! (sliding down the candy cane castle) ew...oh....ouch!
Jacob: black spiderman LIVES over here, but he doesn't know where his home is.

Mommy, bad spiderman and good spiderman lives over here and BATMAN livves over here.

When Batman and Spiderman was trying to kill them and black spiderman thought red and blue spiderman was not good. But his web was really good.

All the heros are good buddys. It's all about Spiderman and Batman.

Let me show you who's are these. This is Batmans (car) and this is Spidermans (motorcycle)

SM: Why did you o that to my motorcycle? Especially when it's mine and not yours?
BM: Let me show you how it goes!
SM: Killing everyoe in site with his motorcycle
BM: that's what IM talkin about!

_________________________________

BM: NOBODY CAN STOP ME
BM: (wild laughter)- flies away
BM: knocks black Spiderman off the TV.
BM: NNNNOOOO!!!!! Not Again!
BM: WWWWHHHHHYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

I hear that train a comin'...comin' round the tracks

2009-12-04T22:51:00.000-06:00

Goofing off is national pasttime at the Schafer House. While we were setting up the Christmas tree on Sunday, the day after Thanksgiving, Jacob decided to have a little full on the tracks.

You're Beautiful Mommy

2009-11-05T21:46:00.000-06:00

The word for the month is 'beautiful'.

Jacob has figured out that if Mommy is upset, telling her, 'mommy? you're beautiful', always helps soften the blow.

Lately, Jacob has been very 'in-tune' with matching his colors in his wardrobe. He will insist that he dress himself and then pop up downstairs with "How do I look?" This morning, he arrived downstairs with Christmas Reindeer socks that light up, black Lightening McQueen shoes, Blue and Red cotton shorts and a super hero red shirt. LOVE IT.

Ever masculine, super heros are the name of the game. Jacob likes to put his own spin and wear my high heel shoes while dressed as Spiderman.

It's been very sweet to have Jacob express his love for Joel and I.

J: mommy? do you know how much I love you?
M: how much?
J: I love you 100 minutes!
M:wow! That is A LOT OF LOVE!
J: I know!
M: Jacob, do you know how much I love YOU?
J: how much?
M: I love you 400 minutes!
J: NO! That's not enough.... I love you 199 minutes!
M: Oh wow!

Halloween Fun

2009-10-29T23:19:00.000-05:00

Today we made Halloween treats for the class today! Thanks to the Dollar Store for some great items.

Ingredients included:
Clear Spider Bags
Halloween Pencils
Googlie Eyes chocolate eyeballs
Marvel Comics Candies
Laffy Taffy
Fun Halloween plastic reusable straws

Tomorrow is the Halloween parade and Spiderman will be in attendance! Then, off to Tiki Island for a nice Tiki party surprise and trick-or-treating down Tiki Drive with Nana and Papaw.

We made a fun video that we posted to the blog for all to see. My beautiful baby sings for me!

Fun after Surgery.

2009-10-23T22:37:00.001-05:00

I had reconstructive surgery on my breasts last Friday and this marks one week of intense healing. Being the open and honest mommy that I am. I chose to show Jacob the process so he understands how painful it might be to give me giant hugs.

J: what's wrong with your boobies mommy?
M: they are healing and I put some medicine on them.
J: Why are they cut?
M: Because the doctor is making them better.
J: What color were you before? Green?
M: Yes.
J: Were you green like an Alien? Did you break into the house as an Alien?
M: *shakes head*.

J: mommy.
M: what baby?
J: can we watch Swan Princess again?

Friday Funnies:

2009-10-09T21:55:00.000-05:00

M: Oh look! My babies (plumeria) are sagging! What do I do?
J: What happened? Are they sad?
M: Yes. They are very sad.
J: Are they crying?
M: I'm not sure. But I have to cut them back now.

___________________________________

M: Get out of the tub and get your clothes on!
J: mommy, I'm cold!
M: well, here, put your shirt on and shorts on.
J: mommy! these shorts don't match my shirt! Spiderman shorts don't go with a Thomas the Tank Engine SHIRT!
J: wait! my spider web is stuck in my shirt!
M: *throws the web on the floor!!!!*
J: Mommy! Toys don't GO on the floor! Look at what a MESS my room is! *picks up the web*
M: laughing....

New Bedtime Song-REMIX!!!!

2009-09-07T22:13:00.000-05:00

So, daddy decided to remix an old favorite: Baby Mine (from dumbo)

The remix is called : Baby POO POO.

Here's the downlow.

Baby poo poo, don't you poo poo.
Baby poo poo, don't you poo poo.
Rest your poo, next to my doo doo, never to poo poo, Baby Poo Poo.

Little poo poo, when you doo doo,
Pay no heed wehn you poo poo.
Let your eyes sparkle and poo poo
Never a poo poo
Baby poo poo.

If they knew, all about poo poo,
They'd end up loving you poo poo
Let your eyes sparkle and poo poo,
Never a poo poo
Baby Poo Poo.

Imagine wild and outragous laughter after each line....Jacob LOVES this new poo poo SO much that we had to do Twinkle Twinkle little poo poo TOO.

More musical remixes coming soon. Whatever we have to do keep that kind of laughter going, is what we will do....even if I am reduced to poo poo.

Funny Papers for Monday

2009-08-17T20:58:00.000-05:00

J: mommy, you know what?
M: what?
J: if I eat ALL my chicken nuggets, I will call nana on my cell phone!
M: you will?
J: yes, and she will tell me that she loves me.

__________________

J: mommy! i want to wear my buzz lightyear costume! PLEASE!!!!!
M: ok!
J: (after a few moments) arrives downstairs. *looking at me with hands on hips*
M: Who are you??
J: I'm Buzz Lightyear!
M: What did you do with my son??
J: *walks slowly with intensity and quickly turns head towards me* I AM YOUR SON. *starts walking away*

____________________

J: mommy! MOMMY! when I have my wings on, I can run SUPER FAST!
M: you can?? Yes! I am BUZZ LIGHTYEAR TO THE RESCUE!

_____________________

J: mommy, my phone is ringing.....
M: who is it?
J: *whispers* i think it's NANA.
M: *whispers back* what does she say?
J: *whispers* i think she says i am a poo-poo.

______________________

D: who are you calling?
J: nobody.
D: why do you have your phone?
J: b/c i NEED it.

_______________________

2009-08-10T13:38:00.000-05:00

Mama Fox News Reports: August 4, 2009 : In the jungle rain forest of Moody Gardens, scooter Sue and Mama Brindley escort Jacob Schafer and William Brindley through perilous terrain to make sure they make it out alive. Jacob and Will were able to track some rare birds in the wild as they continue their safari of Summer.

The ancient ruins provided many research opportunities for Jacob and Will. Let's hope they can find a cure for napping soon.

More breaking news later as this story develops.

Publish Post

2009-08-10T13:24:00.000-05:00

Tuesday, August 4, 2009. Reporting from the Pyramids at Moody Gardens: Mama Fox News had a rare glimpse of Jacob and Will in the wild. From Shark attacks to Dinosaurs, Rainforests to the Arctic, following Jacob and Will on their Summer Safari was more than most people could take. Mama Fox News reports sightings of Penguins, Starfish, Seahorses, rare plant life, waterfalls, crystal formations, tree frogs, dinosaurs and more.

Our reporters were able to get shots of Jacob and Will trying out a native delicacies: Chocolate Pudding with MOON ROCKS! Wow, what brave, brave boys we have. I hear moon rocks, if not eaten properly, can kill.

It was absolutly amazing to watch Jacob and Will battle on in the wild without the slightest need for a NAP. Something the faint of heart could never endure. After their vehicle broke down (mommy and nana), transportation was once again restored by Scooter Sue. With her quick timing, the adventure was back on track.

This is Mama Fox news reporting, more breaking news as we develop this story.

2009-08-10T13:00:00.000-05:00

Mama Fox News Reports: Breaking News! The drought is OVER! Jacob Kyle Schafer and William Brindley successfully, single handedly, beat the drought of 2009! Mama Fox News asks: "How did you do it?" The boys reply : " we like to slip and slide! daddy helped up set up the WATER PARK!" Who knew this band of genius' could muster enough energy to take on this Texas Heat alone.

More news at 9....

2009-08-10T12:46:00.000-05:00

Mama Fox News Reports: Due to inclimate weather over the 2009 Summer Season, Jacob Kyle Schafer and William Brindley decided to take matters into thir own hands. Ice Cream seems to be the perscription for the long term heat wave plaguing our Houston, TX. area. With resort style pools on the ready, Jacob and Will seized the day with every passing moment.

More breaking news continues in the next post.

Morning Quips: part 1

2009-07-22T00:23:00.000-05:00

M: Jacob! It's time to get up! (sings) It's time to get up in the mor-nin.

J: *lazily* mommy.....sunday comes before monday.....

M: well, yes it does! It's time to get up in the mor-nin!

J: *pulls covers over head*

--------------------------------------------------

M: *pours cup of coffee in wonder woman mug*

J: HEY! MOMMY! (points to cup) THERE YOU ARE! Look! There's TWO of you on that cup!

M: *grateful for early brainwashing*.....yes baby, yes it is....there I am.....*smirks*

--------------------------------------------------

M: Jacob, put your socks and shoes on! We have to get ready for school!

J: Mommy.....I want to wear my SKETCHERS.

M: Jacob, you don't HAVE any sketchers.

J: Yes I DO! *points to Wal-Mart brand shoes*

M: OH! Why do you need to wear your 'SKETCHERS' ??

J: because mommy..... SKETCHERS make you cool!

---------------------------------------------------

M: Jacob, do you want Do-Nuts for breakfast today?

J: Yes! I want Do-Nuts!

M: Well, go to the money cup and get your money so you can pay for them.

J: Ok...*grabs a dollar bill*. Mommy! I got my MONEY!

M: That's good! Now you need to pick out FIVE big silver circles. Those are QUARTERS!

J: *sifts through the cup for change* Mommy! Look! I have FIVE BIG ONES!

M: That means you have a two dollars and 25 cents!

J: YES! That's right! *clueless*

(drives up to the do-nut shop)

J: I want to go in and pay for my do-nuts!

M: ok!

J: *waiting patiently in line eyeing the chocolate do-nuts*

J: Mommy! I want a chocolate do-nut with BEAUTIFUL sprinkles and FIVE little do-nuts! (do-nut holes).

Mission Control, We have a problem!

2009-07-13T23:53:00.000-05:00

Momma Fox News Reports:

Jacob Kyle Schafer and William Brindley took a much needed vacation on July 10-13, 2009 to Florida to watch Space Shuttle Endeavor take off. Unfortunately, this mission came with a few hiccups. Due to weather and other circumstances, the shuttle was prevented from taking off while they were there. Even with V.I.P. access and several attempts to meet with astronauts face to face, Jacob and Will had little sway over mission controls vote to cancel the launch.

Momma Fox News reported that talks between Astronaut Dave Wolf, William Brindley and Jacob Schafer during that fateful ride to the shuttle produced little more than a 'thumbs up' and reassurance that "this time we WILL launch". Momma Fox News also reports that Astronaut Dave Wolf is in his last mission to the space station. Below is an overview of this mission. More photos when AP returns from the field.

STS-127 Mission Overview
The 16-day mission will feature five spacewalks and complete construction of the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency's Kibo laboratory. Astronauts will attach a platform to the outside of the Japanese module that will allow experiments to be exposed to space.

The STS-127 crew members are Commander Mark Polansky, Pilot Doug Hurley and Mission Specialists Dave Wolf, Christopher Cassidy, Tom Marshburn, Tim Kopra and Canadian Space Agency astronaut Julie Payette. Kopra will join the space station crew and replace Japanese astronaut Koichi Wakata. Wakata will return to Earth on Endeavour to conclude a three-month stay at the station.